Even If He Doesn’t Know It Yet.

Every so often in life, there are those people that just seem to get you. That from day one, you know you can trust and you want them around you every day, all day. He is one of those people. We met not too long ago and already he’s a big part of my life, even if he doesn’t know it yet. He has shown me kindness, compassion, goofiness, he has seen my worst pictures and called them adorable. In my bucket-list, he has it all. We share more than just our days: we have the same values, the same sense of humor, love for children, a close-knit family, love for cooking and eating.


The blue in his eyes is clear as the sky on a summer day so is his personality. He doesn’t pretend to be someone he is not. My past relationship ended because of his inability to communicate and share his problems with me, locking the door leaving our intimacy outside. What a breath of fresh air it is to spend time with this wonderful human being.


He didn’t need to be there when my anxiety kicked in again after months of absence. I hadn’t known him for a week, yet he showed up for me. He held me and apologized for not knowing what to say. He asked me to tell him how he could help more, even if it was a week afterward. He understood when I couldn’t leave my apartment to go dancing. He supported me when I needed to leave abruptly from the bar, offering not only to walk with me to meet my cab but to take the cab with me to his house so that he could drive me home and I wouldn’t have to do it by myself.


I often get ahead of myself and over analyze everything, and think things are more black and white than they actually are. But, it had been a while since I felt this way. It doesn’t feel like an infatuation, it feels real. It is not blinded by teenage-like feelings, it feels grown up. He is a man who has his life together and I love it.


I hope this lasts but if it doesn’t, he has already given me much more and been more real than many other longer-lasting relationships. If we end up together I’m sure we’ll have the time of our lives and if we don’t I can be certain that he’ll make someone very happy. It’s been a month and he has already taught me so much, he has already encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone without even trying.


Two months have passed since I met this human and I couldn’t be happier. He has made me laugh countless times and shown me nothing but respect. He amazes me every day with how committed and responsible he is. A few weeks ago, we talked about cheating and I asked if he had. To which he said no but then doubted himself. Then continued to ask me where I stood, did I think Rachel was right or did I side with Ross on the “we were on a break” debacle and my heart skipped a beat. He used a reference to Friends, one of my favorite shows. After I gave him my opinion and we established he had never cheated. I asked if he was seeing anyone else, He said he hadn’t been seeing anyone else but me, I told him I wasn’t either. He is one of the good ones, and even if I don’t get to keep him just knowing him for this long makes worth it, even if he doesn’t know it yet.


And as fast as it started it has come to an end. But in this end, for the first time, I am not disappointed. He proved me right by being the mature person I knew he was, he is. Just like the clear blue in his eyes he was able to be true to himself and do right by me. There was something missing, and even if I didn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. Deep down I knew it was there. It came out to the light and we decided to just be friends. He called me beautiful, fun, supportive, sexy, and sweet. We decided we would stay friends, and like I said before; if it doesn’t last, whatever this was burned brighter and hotter than any other relationship I’ve ever had. He was honest, and it was perfect. He gave me a perfect memory to hold on to on my bad days, and the one thing I’ve been keeping in my mind is: if it felt this amazing with someone who is not for me, I can only imagine how amazing it will be with the one who is meant for me.

In the end, I am thankful. I am grateful he was there, I am grateful he was honest, I am happy. He reminded me of all the things that can be. When I met him I was like a little broken-winged bird and he fixed me, and just like when the baby bird heals he set me free.


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